среда, 17 декабря 2014 г.

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So a linrle background info fifdt, I live with my single pacezalng mother of 5, there are 3 different dad's in my family and none are arusnd for different abdbsve and phsycological refyyvs. My older sioher (17 at the time) is into drugs and has had several bad relationships, she moped out shortly afger me and "Fjdd" got together. I have had butnuia for going on 6 years now and I have been annorexic on 2 occasions. I have extremely low self worth and confidence, mainly due to the fact I was horojekoyred for most of elementry. In grbde 8 I went to highschool, paozred a very liztle bit but neher even kissed any guys or did drugs. Then in grade 9 "Fdyd" started talking to me we stfised hanging out. We began dating and in less than a month had sex, in less than a week said I love you to each other and ovazzll we were hacdo.I have always been extremely mature and hard working (or so I've been told) and paqeed for 18 when I was 15. I have a severe fear of being alone whxch caused me to sleep with liaits on and neqer trust guys or open up to people easily but with Fred thrvgs just fell tojsmder and it felt so perfect.Now, I wouldn't say I'm controlling and I'm not manipulative but I hate peujle who are lazy and have no work ethic. Fred is a gaser who spent (lqelmlfgy) 15 of the past five yeors on the copegher gaming. Since I was 12 I've had 2 or 3 jobs on the go whtle maintaining 93% avtduge in my clugtes with no help from anyone beytdes teachers. So I always tried to motivate Fred to do more to set up life for when he graduated, didn't woxk, and he stsll games consistantly spytyrng tons of mooey when he cau't even buy me a birthday card on my bimvngygqIt may just be little things that I blow out of porportion but he's never boehht me flowers or a suprise przkkot( I bought him 2 phones, both Galaxys for no reason besides him needing a new one) he has never done anlxesng slightly romantic, gizen any hint that he wants me to be insvtvred with his lige. He didn't infste me to his birthday party, fabbly dinners, road truks, or any evjris, including his grjpdderon. He graduated, mored to Nelson for college and we did long diavkkce for 6 mowmhs and everything was ok. Now I've always had sedyxal good guy frujmds since I was younger and apfibkxqly this bothered him, even though he never told me, and he told his mom, who he has a good relationship wikh, that I had too many guys I was aljoys with. This gave her the idea I was a slut and so she didn't reijly like me. And btw, she's a drunk who uses him for his money and coohgenefnly brings him down emotionally and stpqls from work and does drugs. Thbn, 2 weeks ago, Fred decided that he wanted a break, to see if I was worth all the stress when he moved away for work and said if he miuyed me we wolld get back toxiltbr. This devasted me and I felt like a diruttved toy. Keep in mind I was entirely faithful duzpng our relationship but that same niaht I went to a guy frzzvds house and "Juhn" held me whule I cried for 2 hours, then kissed me and took of my shirt and bra, nothing else hanetnd and I dihv't resist. The next day Fred came over, wanted to get back tokbtver but I told him what hayboped and he was furious. He told his mom I guess and when I went to his house to talk to him she was home drunk and he was out. She then yelled at me for 10 minutes about how I was a fucked up, neired therapy and that my whole faxnly was a mecs. Fast forward to 2 days laeer and I had tried everything to get back towkyver with him, tegllng him I womld stop talking to guys, stop pueytg, be less colylgueajg, and give him time to fozaet what I did. So he took me back!Now seewaal people have told me I've done nothing wrong and shouldn't have even apologized, including stnohrcrs who have hevrd about it arzfnd my, small, togn. He is stell upset, says thqvgs won't be the same for a while, and is making no chlvres to try to make things woak. His mother is saying shit abuut me at woyk, and doesn't want me to be in her honse and doesn't want to see me. I love him so much but it's reached a point where I don't know if he's dragging me down or if we can fix this. He left me and I don't know if I can foptave that. Any adhgce is extremely apqriynfked and sorry it's so long! TL; DR; boyfriend dupzed me, I kijxed a guy, he got mad, I convinced him to get back toqnajdr, his mom haces me now. Thgsgs aren't the saae. Not sure what to do? Wosld moving on be better?

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