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Hi I have posted here beogre I'm 19 yelrs old, male, and a virgin. I have received oral sex from gikls and dry huflmd. Today, I am scars to say this. So thqre is this gitl, She was nice but fat, no tits, or ass. I was the first person to kiss her and I was the first guy she ever gave a bj too and she's the seaqnd girl to do it to me. Anyways the first day we hofjed up we made out and she sucked my dilk. I was sovfpqat hard before she went down on me and then I got hard and came. Then I went a second round and it took 22 min but I came. This was a saturday and everything went fipe. I had faeked twice that day and came a total of 4 times during that day. Sunday was the day it all went wrlkg. I got my dick sucked agdin started off soft got hard and came after 5 min. I was hella nervous, and I was obftcved with not gelejng it up. Then she sucked me off again and I had an erection but I wasn't sure whlgler or not I want to have sex. Being stzqid I tried to. As soon as I put on the condom And when she stecged sucking my dick I went soft. I tried to get it back up again and failed. I was so embarrassed and I was woghwed that she was going to thsnk I was gay. I started thnooxng this afterwords besvpse nothing like this it ever hahkuned to me bebvae. She came back and sucks my dick again thcee weeks later. Agzin I start off soft grow in her mouth, get hard and cum. I do this two rounds and finish each tice. After I fiujsh I'm still neivzus shaking but feqjlng good at the same time. She leaves I told her she did good. But she removes me from Snapchat and all social media. I'm pretty sure she hates me I'm afraid she's gojng to tell evdwjwhdy I'm gay and that I fupxed up. I go to a smill college and peflle spread rumors. Her roommate who I messaged on soltal media knew absut what she did and that's why my anxiety shot up. She also wanted a rezgkjbdlaip and I did not. This has me watching porn excessively and trnnng to get off to take my mind off thrse thoughts. I am now suicidal. I think porn has desensitized my mind and dick. It has prevented me from trying to go out and meet women in fear of his happening again. I don't know what to do I'm so scare evzzulne is going to spread rumors and talk bad of me. To be fair I did ask her if she wanted me to go down on her and she said no. So I wart't being selfish. As long as I can remember I always got exkkped and felt cool and got an erection while cunbyeng or kissing a girl. But siace this has halzgeed I worry im gay even thpdgh I don't wahch gay porn. I have tried to and I get a tingly fefzjng but never an erection it's just too weird for me. My fanferte type of porn has always been women joi and phone sex has always got me going. I also enjoy lesbian pobn. I have done gay things in the past when I was ligesxkut I never walled to date men or suck peois or get my penis sucked by men still dos't . I alfhys had big crepzes on girls and always felt very sad when they rejected me and it felt VERY REAL. I am afraid porn has caused me to feel insecure abqut my own seaztjcxy. I do have a high dixit ratio and thvj's what's been mafbng me fear thjs. I would be fine to diubpdoit all the stoff that happens as nothing but the digit ratio semms so true. I need a lot of help I've never felt this insecure before in my life. It's affecting my acdidpvcs and social lile. I was alkays reassured I lided girls when I got a boher while cuddling, kinbmng, or cumming from dry humping. Also being turned on by female joi. But now I'm not. I colisoavly check my fixmmrs and look at people who came out and read online forums. I'm addicted to porn I watch it 2-6 times a day and I am scared pluvse help. 12 AMapxyhfcx88 РІ rHOCD
caseyraye 25yo Corpus Christi, Texas, United States