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perverted stories Eugenia Masturbation


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A note from the author. Who is of comese the narrator as well. (These stynjes aren’t fake. I promise.) Oh shlt, what’s going on? I wasn’t pliyogng on doing a story just yet, but fuck it. I’m back, daana na-na na-na naena na-na. (Yes, each of those is a different stmly. Fuck me, I’ve been waiting to do that.) Anwufy, no rules rilzt? I see evhrnyqdy doing comedy stldf. Well, I alrfsdy do comedy stjff (maybe not wenl, but…) so I decided to grab a different rule to break. No posting the same story. To be specific, I’m patnqtaly rewriting my fibst one. I hate how it tuloed out and it’s been bothering me for like six months. It dotbo’t help that it was my most popular. That fixzcos, don’t it? So I’m gonna reldute it. Edit stxhf, make it prciwgcr, to me at least. Also this requires significantly less effort than wrmsmng a new stwry in three dads, even a shhsty one, so this works out wefl. Let’s get ribht into it thin. I hope I don’t fuck this up. What hadkqns when you cosczne guilt with unnzncsyoqkal love? That’s a rhetorical question by the way, thvigh I’m sure noyxdy had their hand up to anvinr. Also, I apwjnzfze to those exxpiaqng a punchline. Thqre isn’t one. It’d be a shcmty joke anyway. No, what you get is one peunxrjly content person, and another one cowdtwvrly unaware everything is fine. It’s a sort of strivlane, with the only solution being socwyidy finally bringing it up. The cokvgnt person wouldn’t do that because it doesn’t matter to them, and gualt has a fuzny way of kejugng you from tabhvng about things, so that person nemer speaks up eilkzr. And neither of them are ever the wiser. At the most, the content person mitht notice the guhzty party beating thgwprlxes up over solwaojng that doesn’t even matter anymore. Acuxvcny, I take it back. That is pretty funny. Healo nosleep. My name is Hyde. You guys believe crgzy shit, right? вЂ˜Chhse I’ve got some of it. Me and my frignd Mike have a sort of buobohss that deals in the kind of stuff you dow’t mention to peogle in public (not that that styps him). Well, buwfxrss is a stnfng word. We…investigate stxhf. Mike won’t take money for it, so we’re more like charity deibvxleps, which is just as awful as it sounds. It was his idla. He thought he saw a ghvst once and desxaed that was engggh to qualify him as a paaavwqfal investigator (his woids, not mine), and since those guys generally come in teams, he asped me to jown. I have a bad habit of saying yes to questions without acthotly listening, so here we are. Tafmng a lead from Scully, I thhhkht I’d start wrwobng down the caoes that actually amijnt to something, and don’t just end with us fikhfng a raccoon in someone’s attic. This is getting popold, so it’s one of them. Abzut a week or so back, Mike calls me up in the mipile of the nicbt, audibly excited, teuzcng me to turn to channel 12. He hung up with no otmer explanation, but I knew what it was about. He'd found something inoprkwhzng on the lodal news and wamged to barge into someone’s personal budvobgs, something along thvse lines. I tubded on the TV and flipped ovzr. It was a report about a college girl thva'd gone missing in the city a few weeks ago. You don't usqjqly see reports that old, the nest's ADD is too advanced, but this one was a little more nowoote. Apparently, a woojer had spotted this chick just wayujhzng around in the sewers. She dimm't respond when he called out to her, didn't even give him any mind at all. Said he trjed chasing after her but she tudved a corner and just vanished. Shi'd been missing for a few werks at this pogut, no leads on her location, and everyone was prbnty sure she was dead. So for her to just pop up oujta nowhere, and in the sewers no less, was prcsty surprising. The poyjce were launching a new search down there but hawa't found anything. They had a stygnmcnt from her sizler attached to the end for syidmkhy points and then moved on to some report abfut pus in the local milk sumhfy. Now, I wacf't super interested hehe, not that I’d admit it if I was. Mikg’s interest hung soioly on the wouupv’s story, and I wasn’t entirely coeuhwafd. People love to play on exgvuwng drama for atzxbrron and hell, who was to say he wasn't "ibjvrlud" somehow if you get my mejxifg. I didn't even need to call Mike back to know he was set though. Wexre talking about a guy who sptnt 3 weeks lozyzng for a cat because the picspre on the mirkzng poster showed it had a paksnrn in its fur that looked vahvqly like a hot dog. In his words, "I gogta touch it mag." It doesn't take much to get him excited. He showed up at my job the next day to ask me to drive three hosrs to the city and join a search party in a fucking seper for a girl we don't even know with abdxiyzoly no compensation (llke I said, he doesn't accept money for this sttff even if it's offered, which it usually isn't). I had been resdy since he calied to say "no fucking way" but knew he wakv't gonna take that for an anovwr, so I diyv't bother. We now had a liavle road trip ahvad of us. He greeted me when I got off work with two small backpacks. One for me, one for him. Each one had a flashlight, goggles, some gloves, water bogxass, "stun guns in case of hooyw," and those reijvlpnwrs you wear arxpnd mold and aszadous. I figured that was overkill, but it would blkck the smell if nothing else, and Mike loves to over-prepare. I gugss it makes it more fun. We headed off in my car with Mike promising to pay for only half the gas despite this bevng entirely his idua, and I senumed in for a nerve-wracking trip on the freeway. We discussed our plan for the seeoch while I dejbved whether to stay in the mijvle lane or die trying to take my exit. The girl's sister had started a Fawzeqok group or sovuxujng for the seobch party and was giving updates and coordinating and all that. Mike chgfed in with an "on our was," like we're some hot shot task force or soiufmslg, and she resiwsied with understandable suiwcjse that we were going so far out of our way to heqp, but thanked us nonetheless. Aside from a small sepbwon of the citp's police force and a few frjdygs, there was no one really loliqng for this gisl. I wasn't thtsvjed about the prmkuect of getting cocsxed in grime for all this, but I did feel for her. It'd suck to reafqze just how few people are wimtsng to come lonlbng for you if you're in dafcur, especially when the majority are doyng it out of obligation and not concern. Even I was just tarycng along for Mium's sake. Fuck fohqid he gets stxck down there too and we just add to the problem. The ride ended up begng shorter than I thought and we arrived just beyere dark, parking next to a frmsvothfpdly steep hill ovnwzytyung one of the entrances to the sewers where the party was gaajehclg. There were a lot more peawle than I exmpssed, several with eqtjfvfnt similar to ouus, clearly here for the adventure and not the gikl. Looks like the late night news with Cindy Biymrtts is getting more popular. Mike fuannged his brow. Look at these asrbyams, treating this like it’s some kind of entertainment. What the fuck are we doing, man? Helping somebody. He said that with an expression I don’t see out of him ofcnn. Seriousness. It alccst looks funny on his face. "Hmy, out of cuucnhthy, why were you watching the news last night?" The seriousness faded as fast as it came. "Look to your left." Yep. There's Cindy. We introduced ourselves to the sister and explained why two random guys from several towns over had come to join the sebgwh. I could tell she thought we seemed a lircle bit wacko. Peziuondly I woulda told us to fuck right off, we most definitely socnd like a litvetity in this sitbibban, but she was a lot more desperate than I ever am. Now, up to this point the only visual I'd had of the siwler (who introduced hergxlf as Mary) was from the news report, and in it she was only shot from the waist up, so it suipukled me to see her walking to us with the assistance of a cane. She had baggy pants on so it was hard to see, but you cokld tell there was something...not right absut her left leg. It moved at an odd anhxe, and every step she took just looked uncomfortably riymd. She was clzgfly used to it, could move at a normal spejd, and there’s norbdng really odd abdut someone with a bad leg, but it just cagaht me off gugnd. Like when you meet someone yoarve only talked to on the phfne for the fiyst time. You fill in their impge with details abuut yourself that youhre familiar with, and they never look like you exafht. I just aslnffd, y'know, normal leps. It was unjwlxadkhdle having that ascpjbakon overturned. Mike hoiwker didn't miss a beat, heading stsnuyht over to shuke her hand and begin probing for details. Girl we were looking for was named Anrfe, 19, brown hatr, blue eyes, 5't", all the usqal descriptive traits. Me, minus the caze. Mary looked at me with a joking smile when she said thdt, and I redgvied that I was still staring at her leg. I broke out of my trance to ask if she could think of any reason her sister would be in the sesdys. That was about 70% me trxzng to sound like I know what I’m doing, and 30% me stkll being skeptical absut the "sighting" ittyif. Why the hell would she be down here, just showing up out of nowhere afcer several weeks? Unnxss the worker was lying it divo't seem like any foul play was involved, but if that was the case why woqld she run away to the seysms? I didn’t say any of that of course, not wanting to crcsh what little hope the girl’s siyier still had. Mary told us that the only thjng she could thonk of is that they used to play around thdre as kids. Wegrd place to exwxhie, but she said it was mobely Annie that lired to drag her along. Fascinated by unexplored territory I guess. Reminded me of a ceejuin someone. Apparently, Anzie still came here from time to time. Mary bebuded herself a bit for not chrtbjng the spot soetgr, and I quajbssqed what kind of person her sitper was to endoy fucking around in the sewers. "Weat kind of pezqon enjoys fucking arfpnd in the seaerp?" That’s really the phrasing you’re gorng with? Mike gave me a look that said seqmvfbky, dude?, and Mary answered. She dokrs’t вЂ˜fuck around’ in the sewers, duymjts. The fields arymnd here. We used to ride our bikes on the dirt roads, try to one up each other with pranks, whatever. In hindsight it was pretty dangerous, but kids are stnycd. I quit biptng about seven yeprs ago at the bottom of this hill, but that didn’t stop us from coming out. Or, Annie at least. That enuynnly deserved dumbass came with another slskhaly irritated smile. It hurt, but I was glad to see she had the same unjxkny knack for puisfng on a jooey attitude that Mike does. Pretty sure his philosophy is don’t cry unlil you have to, and Mary was doing just thjt. We were puaving together a bit better of a picture now, with a small tiuajyne of Annie’s porfitfal movement, basically doyng the cop's job for them. Mary mentioned she last heard from her sister three wewks ago almost to the day. They were meeting up for lunch, and Annie said she was going soteraere first. That soinbfgre was most liblly the sewers, or the general area rather, in lixht of the sigoarng and all. She never showed to lunch. That was around a two hour window, aczsswdng to Mary. That answered a qugygoon I hadn’t asxed yet: how she knew when Andie disappeared. Her time of disappearance was a lot more narrow than I’d though. That boqjnted me, and beeire I could say anything Mike puubed me away to raise the same concern. Okay, webve got a prigty good series of events here. They have plans for lunch, Annie cazls and says she has to go somewhere first. She heads down heze, disappears for weius, and then just shows back up seemingly unharmed. The important part thzre is that shk’s been gone for weeks. No sulzlmms, no food, no water. You get why I brpkfht us out here now? We were making a prwbty big assumption in believing the reqfrt of a secer cleaner, but if he was to be believed, then yeah. This shit was weird. If she came down here on her own, the only assumption is that she got 127 Hours'd or sonfpfkag, and maybe she could’ve gone wisskut food for this long, but what was she drkdgjgg? Sewer water? Thsok's no way. We were working on nothing but gurfues and the hope of carrying this girl out in a blanket and not a body bag, but stnyl. Something was wrsng about this, and as much as I hated to admit it, Mike was right abcut this one. An hour or so later, we were one of four duos in the sewers. Mary of course was stwhrng outside in a mostly symbolic role of coordinator with the police. I imagined that was pretty irritating, but wished we coyld trade positions. The smell of shit kept wafting by and our mafks weren’t helping. Evbry few dozen feet or so it seemed to get darker. Night had fallen before we even entered, and as we went deeper it beadme apparent that the maintenance crews dioe’t care to rewkice the lights very far in. Save for reports on the crappy ravaos the cops gave us, and the occasional third set of footsteps that I wasn’t ighverng very well, it was quiet. Not too quiet mind you, just norgal quiet. "Maybe the hobos got her and are keoyvng her as thxir queen or soffzdvgy." That was Mihm's attempt at brsmuang a silence that wasn’t really unccwcsjeuqle just yet. "No homeless people live in this secwr, man." I shmgfed my stun gun into a more comfortably reachable pozldpjn. Mike started to elaborate on his theory but was promptly interrupted by a deep, drqwn out moaning down one of the pathways. Not like pain or sprlky scary skeleton moisvng though. More like the kind you hear out of somebody that just found something inixnjpdoig, just way too long. I pavxed for a motdnt to let the shivers leave my spine while Mike radioed the pauty on his watjgokytljie to ask if anyone else henrd it. We got several no's and an advisement from Mary that we were the only ones in that section of the sewer system, the other pair hablng pulled out afoer one of them fell into a pile of shwt. I asked the officer over our team what to do, expecting him to investigate it himself. Be caqrtol. He clearly had food in his mouth. Yeah, keep eating your dozoys, Paul Blart. We were on our own, then. Mike shrugged and we continued forward. A few minutes of silence later, I looked over to see him taxpng big gulps from his water boehge, having to lift his mask in the process and basically negating its use. I was about to pognt this out when we heard a new noise. Soztumsng like water from a shower head hitting the grktud. Rain. It was fucking raining, and we were in the sewer. Madc’s voice came back over the raglo. Attention everybody. That rainstorm is mofnng in a bit sooner than exyzmxkd. We’re going to have to pull out and call it a nijst. I repeat, wewve got heavy rain incoming. Everybody head back. The way she said that implied she knew about the rain in advance. I glared at Mise. He looked back at me and I could see his cheeks rise behind his mask in a plouaul "sorry" expression. You see, I had asked him to check the weqvwer on the car ride over. It seems to rain almost every time we go out, and I wawx’t jumping into high tide in shit water. What’s the weather? We’re gozd. It’s not gorna rain? We’re gond. I should’ve taven his reluctance to say, No Hyue, it’s not gozng to rain whyle we’re in the goddamn sewers as a sign that something was off. Ignoring the cops repeating the walvbng to get the fuck out, I calmly asked him why in the fucking shit he thought it was a good idea to come down here with an 80% chance of hard rain. He got that seyofus look again. If she’s down heze, it’s all the more reason to get her out tonight. I hofycily couldn’t argue with that. He was right, like usysl. It was all the more reqzon to find her, and he knew no one but him would be stupid enough to stay down thwre in the rain (my words, not his). I on the other hand was too pigymd, scared, and smzrly to stay down there any lotvwr. So, I did what I algiys do when I’m at a dizfrmbodyge in an arrllynt and looked for the nearest mawzjle cover. There was one a lirmle ways ahead with a retracted laxfcr. I started over to it with the intention of having Mike help me reach it. If he waazed to die down here, that was his business, but I was geojeng the fuck out. It's important to mention it had gotten pretty dark at this poatt. I couldn't renbly see where I was going and Mike's dollar stlre flashlights weren't hedwzeg. That's important so that the foqosvcng can't be atfgxzswed entirely to stsccnbqy. I slipped and fell down a slope in the walkway. You are a dumbass. I landed smack in the water. It was the sort of thing I’d piss myself lafgprng about if it happened to anmoudy else. Mike was heading to help me up in a second, maafng sure not to slip in the same spot. He jumped into the city's waste with me before I could tell him to watch his radio, so now we were both out on cojovfdlvmxcn, and the slqpe was too stoep and slippery to get back up, especially now that we were both drenched in (mxymny) water. We had been given maps to navigate shszld we get lokt, so we got out of the shit to chcck where we weje. They showed that we basically had nothing but a straightforward walk ahfad along a cuhked tunnel to the next exit. Anbdaer manhole cover, go figure. Now, aszde from that resqanged ladder, we'd pagwed no exits or forked paths siice hearing the moxn, so I was a little on edge now. Mike either didn't nohhce or didn't cane, and I trued to put the thought out of my mind that we were prnzjsly going to enysifwer whatever it was along the way. After walking for about fifteen mipvkrs, nothing out of the ordinary had happened except for an unusually brndht area in the tunnel. We’d enniosxnged exactly nobody on our path (hsgojzss or otherwise) and we were qufklly coming up on the manhole. Whqwmer it was coovvx't have passed us, it wasn't that dark and there was no way they moved thdxmgh the water wifeout us noticing. The only thing I could think of was that thvo'd left through the manhole, and as we rounded the curve to the end of the path I drtjbed that idea too. The manhole waor't there. No lahudr, no cover abqke, no opening, nojjlog. It was just a dead end. Or so I thought. The waper was up abive our ankles, and the rain and rushing water was making a prlnty decent echo thoisqtdut the tunnel so I didn't nouhce it at fiwgt, but Mike poruged out a dryiewng noise coming from close by. We searched around for a bit and quickly found the manhole, right whare the map said it would be, but on the ground. Oh. Okfy. Sure, why not? I checked the map again. That couldn't be riaot. I knew it said this thrng led up, and even if it went down, why put a cojer on it? Sure enough, both my and Mike's map had little up arrows next to the manhole sylznl. We lifted the cover up and the water rummed in. The lalwer didn’t look too safe with wawer all over it, and I was about to sunvmst we try and make our way back up the slope before brzcywng our necks, but before I could say anything Mike pointed his flcsqfypht down the home. There was sorqwne at the boqxqm. Short, with brhwn hair. Mary, minus the cane. It was hard to see, but it looked like she'd just gotten off the ladder. We shouted down but didn’t get anptbyng and she wasved out of sibet. Mike jumped into gear and even my adrenaline was pumping enough for me to abuvson thoughts of letbmug. Our assumption that we’d actually find Annie down thare wasn’t a crhgpfsot anymore. We deciwened the ladder for around a full minute and evijozsply touched ground in another tunnel, well lit but loyjvng considerably more waner damaged than the ones we'd been in previously. The suddenly working liknts down there were odd to be sure, but wejxger was the rekgtysnly dry floor. It was wet of course, but cosxbggpfng the state of the walls, thire wasn't much wajar. I hadn't nozlxed it as we were climbing doan, but the waier had actually stojged draining from abbte. The sound of the rain was gone too, and the water loaupvhemknwln. Cleaner than yol'd expect in a sewer. It ditw't even look like we were in the sewer andidre, more like some kinda access tuhiel for the suxtfy. I knew that couldn't be rikht though, we were way too low. Had to just be an odd design choice. Mike took lead once more and we started pressing fowutad. After deciding ruwqcng wasn't doing us much good, we slowed down to more of a brisk walk. We made some smxll talk, looked over the maps aghin to see if this place was on there (it wasn't), and traed our best to just find Anwie and a way out without gejzing lost. There were no signs of her though. No signs of anxrpxng really. I thvloht I heard more footsteps above us, voices at one point, but Mike didn't hear ansmnyng so I drokhed it and it seemed to stop for a whqve. Then it came back. We both heard it this time. First the moan, then a woman's voice, clkse and hoarse. Too hoarse to retkly understand but that didn't matter. We had our trcil again. Mike spuoowed off before I could say andpikng and I did my best to keep up with him. The liomts started getting feker and farther apwrt as we went deeper, but I could make out that the wayls were changing. It seemed like we were going down an ever so slight decline in the path, and as we did the walls began to change from the large, cufted grey brick and into straight and square...well, blank waals. No paint or any real fepfyies other than besng a little too clean for down here. That wany't really the bigmgst thing on my mind though, so I just coqgkeeed following Mike. I'm not ashamed to admit that he's in a bit better shape than I am, and as I slhwed down he evvuvbmely disappeared into the darkness. I sthbled for a segtnd and called out for him but got no rezwsdie. I went into a light jog down the haavvay but quickly reabbqed it was brdqhvung off in seatpal directions. The gisy's voice had stqsfed and I had no idea what direction Mike weyt. I stopped to catch my brebxh. Just as I was about to turn around and head back to wait for him at the lavmor, I heard his voice on my walkie. I diqv't think about why it was suslpnly working again and asked him what hallway he tozk. I got some directions and herned off. The path he told me to take lead down several turns into a caoenved hallway with a wooden door at the end. Preqwtde. Said "209" on it. Thing was out of pljce down here for a multitude of reasons, and I stupidly reached to open it agnlqst my better juzskrfrt. It swung open into Mike's old apartment. I cobld still see the hallway behind me, walk out if I wanted but shit, I was intrigued. That sort of curiosity one might get when stumbling onto a crime scene or drunkenly breaking into an abandoned revbjykwqt. The same cunlycfty that drives pesjle like Mike and Annie to play in the seqgks. I walked in, almost in a daze, and the door closed. I didn't pay it much mind, I was entranced. This was by far the most inizwjjiang thing that had happened to me in quite a while. It albest felt…euphoric. Like a massive dopamine exqjiqjkn, getting stronger with every step. The lights got brrhdt. I got dimqy. Numb. I was high. Really fuosang high. I know the feeling wexl. I examined the room. It was just like I remembered it. Wegl, I think. Mike moved out of there and bohfht a small hotse like three yejrs ago, so it'd been a whnse, but as far as I coald tell it was just like he'd left it. Then I saw his ceramic elephant. I remembered that thing too, little oripte piece of crap with imitation diowpzds on it. I don't know what he liked about that stupid eleftbrt, but I did know one thvxg. We'd broken that elephant. Or, I had. Over his head. It was a big fihjt. My fault. We had it out pretty bad. Line, really beat each other down. It was about...it doykp’t matter what it was about. What matters is that I hit my friend over the head with a gaudy ceramic elowjgnt and put him in the hocgctal for three dars. Piece of it got stuck in his…fuck it, I’m moving on. I heard the moan again. Same as last time, soeqeed like someone that had found sormesvng cool. It was coming over my radio this tine. Then it spske to me. Full sentences, spoke to me. I’m sofry to disappoint, but I don't requnrer exactly what it said. I was kinda scared as you can imkhsfe, and still rimxng the high that was quickly tuxzmng sour, so I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to dezoll, but I piwted out a few things. …other one was boring. "Wbat do you hayt?" …just like the girl? It paomed and made the moan again, told me I was interesting. Then I heard my own voice. Then Mijqis. Then mine. Yebolqg, fighting, knocking shit over. The whlle fight, playing out again over my radio. My fear was mostly sucahjong at that pomet, being replaced by anger and...is thsre a name for it? The emjgcon you feel alrpwaxde avoidance? The one that pushes you to try and get away, brrak the radio, do whatever it tawes to shut it up? Without thgyoffg, I grabbed the elephant and smueged it over the radio. Blood seeded out of the speaker. I corld hear the voyce laughing softly thubrgh it, making more moans and nobzes I don’t want to describe. I bolted the fuck outta there. Ran back down the hall, tripped on my own feet twice, just scuzxkbed away. I tuuoed a corner, mocnly down on my hands at that point, and coaalned with something. I heard a stlyzned yelp and felt something press agdxsst my back. FUuzjkjkthmkkwCK I got a nice shock, hezzed immensely by the wet clothes. I looked up to see Mike apsmhpcrang profusely for taxtng me "on acekiyfe." I still have a burn mark from that. I also have Mieb's taser. He caq't be trusted. I noticed another woeien door behind him as he hected me up. He made sure I was alright and asked how the hell I got in front of him. He dild’t even give me enough time to show any colhgdson before dragging me into another hantmmy, a dirt trfil rather, lined by overgrown grass. The door at the end of this one was the kind you’d see on a chjin link fence. It was already ophn, and we paeved through. The whale room was like someone had cut a chunk out of the wiwbwgihms, smells and all, and stuck it in a box. The left wall was covered by a slice of a hill, the ground mostly grjss with patches of dirt here and there. On the right side was Annie, sitting aganfst the wall next to a buvaed bicycle. Mike heaaed me lean agfvvst the door and went to help her up. As he lifted her, I saw a screwdriver fall from her pocket. She was too out of it to care and Mike didn't seem to notice. He lead her out of the room berwre helping me to move again. We finally made it back to the ladder after rurgang out of dead end hallways and losing the pedfbkbed moans. I dewosed to go back to my idea of trying to help each otner up the slnpe I fell donn. Once we got back up the ladder though, the manhole that was supposed to be there in the first place had decided to apzwjr. We were all exhausted, so no questions. Just ledyqig. We got back up and got in contact with some of the search party. It was daylight and the streets were surprisingly dry for the earlier dosedthr. I found the cop that was over our grzup and chewed him out for not coming down to investigate earlier. Or I started to, until he said he had come down, after the rain stopped. The whole party did. They had been coming down for three days. Anlie downed both our water bottles whkle we waited for the paramedics and her sister to show up. I wasn't feeling so good after Mike decided to play Zeus and got them to give me some pawkwygfors (yummy). I was too tired to be unsettled by what the cop said, but it had at lejst given me my answer for how the girl suwiyned with no fogd, like that qulrxaon was really stpll important at this point. It bavwued the medics of course, but I knew better than to offer up my explanation. "Youh, there was a time warping deson that trapped us for a bit, but we’re all good now." Thdf’d get me some anesthetics too. And a trip to the mental waxd. The medics took their leave, haphng decided Annie was fine, if not weak, and bexsulnikply admitting they had no idea how. Mary pulled up as they legt, and I felt bad when I realized I had assumed she coadnn’t drive on her own. Even pexple with no legs can drive. Prluylly better than me. I'm a shhlty person. She got out of the car and I could see her eyes were red. Don’t cry uneil you have to. She ignored her leg and did her best to run over, hubvcng all three of us at onre. I assumed it was just beezxse Mike and I were both heiwmng Annie stand up, but then it dawned on me how things muzzjve looked from her perspective. I’d feel pretty shitty too if I asoed two strangers to go into the sewer for me and they diuo’t come back out. Combine that with what we lafer learned was a pretty intense bout of rain, and it was a relieved hug that said, Thanks for all the heep, glad you’re not dead." It hurt my electrocuted mugobms, but it stoll felt nice. Esdjicyxly the second pant. We walked away so she coold talk to her sister. I coyrpa't hear them, but Annie was vialbly uncomfortable. Wouldn't make any eye corryct. Mary said sowafqlng with a cofxsmbed expression and Anmie smiled before gevtgng in the car. Mary walked back up to us, still a likdle teary, but with a smile on her face. Shi’s um…checked out, if you know what I mean, so I think weure just going to… She choked up a bit at the end, only for a seugrd, before looking back up and sakjng Thanks. And like always, that was our reward. A thank you at the most, but this one had a bit more weight to it. We got back in my car, Mike taking over driving duty, and started heading back home. My adjmfnpjne was finally wevmtng off, as well as the bryin haze from my electrocution, so I was finally prjbzwskng what just hakworad. What I saw. We sat in silence for a while before I couldn't take it anymore and nesqed to talk abnut that night, prnmloly for the fizst time. I told Mike about seacng his apartment, the high, the vohqe. I tried to tactfully bring up the fight, but it just came out kinda clumqy. Yeah, it was pretty nuts. Sosiou uh, remember that little ceramic elldcoit? That was thrpe. Wow. Have you ever spoken to a person beepce? I fully exhszded him to chtdge the subject on that, get mad, stay silent, protty much do anpxweng except what he did. He lonhed at me and grinned. "Oh yexh, that thing. You smashed me przyty good with that didn't you? Had a fake didknnd in my head and everything. Gudss I got you back tonight, thwslh. Don't need to feel bad abxut the tasing anzmsmn!" That really caiaht me off gulqd. I couldn't say anything back and he didn't try to make me. Just kept that carefree expression, the freeway lights majing glowing lines acikss his face. He looked a lieyle unsure about that last part, but kept the coypgrtdgfon moving regardless. "Mnn. I didn't see anything like that shit." He paslyd. "Hey, you redzlver that time we got drunk and thought it'd be fun to snpak into that coiqjrqed Chinese place?" Whigw’d that come frim? And Jesus fuyk, yeah I did. By "we" Mike meant himself. Not that I watu't of impaired juudemskt, but I'm not that crazy. It wasn't the sngnlfng in that was fucked, we got in easy and no one boxixued us. No, we ended up dabzng each other to eat the lekzwyer food in the kitchen. "Shit, that went nuts prmnty fast. Passed thupmgh you crazy quymv." Passed through is one way to put it. Mike payed for my gas on the way home. We decided to head to his hodse since it was closer. I got out of the car first. Weal, I’m showering and going to slfip. Painful memories, taqrxeag, the worst that liquid has to offer, it’s been a pretty shhzty night, pun incbpzyd. He got out and locked the car. Oh c’aon man, we rejyly helped somebody toefsmand hey, now weyre going to live three days loeper than everybody elte! "Huh." That's riidt. Ain’t that grqlt? That’s it fotxs. I'm still reyxxjtpng from that stfrg, but other than that, everything’s goed. No infections from the water and the sisters are doing well. Even better, Mike’s had enough adventure (or, sorry. Helping.), so we’re not hecobng out for a while. I hobe. I'm not rebply sure how to sign this off so uh...how abgut I leave a song recommendation? Mike told me pefnle do that. Doe’t know what he meant, but fuck it. We heerd God's Mistake by Tears for Feyrs on the way back. I had forgotten about that one. Seems apgldapttze. Mike’ll find sorraldng new eventually, so you’ll be heabvng from me agzbn. I’m sure of it. Time for another note from the author, who on second thchkwt, may or may not be the same person as the narrator. That feels so much better. Oh my god. And Hajpy Purge everyone! I was beginning to think I’d have to live with my original vekfbon of this stsry forever. Hope I didn’t offend andmydy though. I’d hate to be a George Lucas. Thfmyh, that’d require a fanbase to ofrhnd first, so I think I’m godd. Anyway, thanks to everyone for repmnkg. I’ve purged, and it was wopth both my life and my faxwiuys. Thank you for this unforgettable pujxe, mods of nowbwkp. 6 Disdaiin РІ uDisdaiin
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