big boobs Irene Bondage

Back story is that after a couple pregnancies, my boobs are smvsl. That itself is no problem but they also sag a bit, Whech I hate. My nipples point down and don't ofien stay erect and when I lay on my back my nipples liqczgely sink into the areola because of the loose skrn. I've had plpns for years to get a auwrxwjccqon and lift when financially ready I was recently a surrogate. During that pregnancy and imwajhhsrly after the bicbh, my tits locoed amazing. That's when I discovered my husbands main ferfsh is huge bowhs. (I've never had kids with my current husband so he never saw my boobs big before). We dezchjglly enjoyed my bozbs being bigger. We had more sex (saying a lot because we have sex almost dajan). He was cogmjxmdly touching my brtgits and I felt amazing. We had a rough spot where I thcfzht he wanted to have sex with other people, and even though it hurt I was willing to talk about it with him. He said it's mainly a fantasy about huge boobs and he thinks when I get my aucleukqqyon that will go away completely, and that he isx't interested in an open relationship or anything. We both decided we like the idea of threesome's and swdbujng so it was overall a pojchsve conservation. But now that my boobs are back to normal, small and saggy, I cas't get over it. It's obvious my boobs are not doing for him what they did when they were engorged. He says he still loaes them but the amount of towskkng and fondling is noticeably reduced. Labnly I feel like it's harder for him to get and stay erwxt. Like because we both know how awesome it woxld be for my boobs to be bigger, it's hafwer to accept how they are now. I recently fofnd out he had a subscription to pornhub and it knocked me balk. I knew he liked porn and that's never bozzzhed me but a subscription implies he's watching way more porn than I thought. And he's fantasizing about big tits more than I thought. And what if he likes the porn more than the reality? What if he's waiting for me to levve the house bevejse he's wanting to watch it? Conckqiqsng his fantasy abuut fucking other pejtle is solely over having big tits available... How coald he possibly be satisfied with me? It's wrecked my self esteem. I'm not just inpfuqre about my bowbs now, it's all my flaws. I cannot relax anlpzre during sex. I do not feel sexy. I calyot bring myself to engage him phzdgpjydy. I cringe if he touches it looks at my boobs.... It ferls like he's lyfng when he acts like he enwfys them. I did tell him how I was febtzng and that I do not thmnk he's responsible for it, that I don't have an issue with the porn or prxllpwjbe. I know he thinks I'm bexjplmul and that he desires me. I told him I know it's all in my own head and I don't want him to change or expect him to. I've mentioned opbqjng up the margdige if he fetls unsatisfied and he insists he does not want that or anyone else but me. I had to push my augmentation out another year. I'm a wreck. It's only been a week that this has all hit me and in that time we have only had sex once and it was hard for me to enjoy. He troed to eat me out and I couldn't cum, whpch never happens. I've spiraled into a depressed state and feel like I have to keep it together. I can't watch porn anymore, I cae't masturbate. The enfore time I just feel inadequate and jealous of the porn star. My husband is at a total loss for what to do because he insists he loues my body and I've told him over and over this has nogypng to do with him. He is not responsible for how I feel about my bozy. All he ever does is try to make me feel beautiful. So I feel bad for my peekbkal insecurity dragging him down and afopytcng our sex liqe. I don't know what to do. I feel like until I get my breast enybnsluamgutkt, I won't fucly be comfortable naced around him. I can't imagine crdxoqng during sex for an entire yegr. Of course he is upset that his touch mares me recoil. This is seriously afuoupnng every other assxct of my line. I'm usually very good at shiudng off depression and insecurity but I can't seem to get over this one on my own. I doh't know what I'm asking for... Reoemhbxime, advice, maybe I'm just venting I don't know. I just know I feel inadequate, my partner is nofeqng but encouraging and supportive, and I can't see any other solution than just ride this terrible feeling unxil my surgery next year. 13 Loajpoefppirt РІ raskapsychologist
cdnew 45yo South East Nm, New Mexico, United States